Home > I look like a moron, Sex Panther > 5 Possible Uses for Olli Jokinen

5 Possible Uses for Olli Jokinen

So, after several months of surgery, OT, and so on (I lost part of a finger at sea) I’m able to start writing regularly.  This time, I think I’ll focus more on my team though- the Flames.  So without further ado, somethings we could actually use Jokinen and his 5.5M salary for.

I swear we could've signed him cheaper with bananas

1. He could fill in at the gorilla exhibit at the Calgary Zoo when one of them wants the day off due to feeling a little homicidal

2. Darryl could rent him out to Paul Frank as a model for Julius the Monkey.

3. He could go Tortorella on the press when Brent Sutter is questioned about ridiculous line combinations.  Calgary’s equivalent of Larry Brooks wouldn’t stand up to him due to fear of being hit by a thrown barrell.  Yes, that was the third “Jokinen looks like a monkey” joke in a row.  I’m done now- promise.

4. Okay, I lied.  Let’s pay him in bananas and kidnapped princesses.  Cap space?  No problem.

5.  Use him in the AHL to help play with “development stalled” players.  Wait- he’s doing that already?  Shit, I’m out.

  1. January 25, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    Huh. Didn’t know you had a blog Arik.

    • Arik
      January 25, 2010 at 3:07 pm

      I started, then promptly forgot about it when I destroyed my hand. Now that my life of adventure has settled down somewhat, I’m going to try and write a few times a week.

  2. January 25, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    Awesome. I think the red hair color (when he has any) reveals a lineage to the orangutan family, and therefore his rich ape upbringing.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: