Home > I look like a moron > The Glencross Paradox (Okay, It’s Not a Paradox At All) (Also, It’s Monday)

The Glencross Paradox (Okay, It’s Not a Paradox At All) (Also, It’s Monday)

On Twitter, the Calgary Flames feed has been trying to spread this idea of a nickname for Curtis Glencross.  The nickname in question? “Scoreface”.  Yes, Scoreface.  I’m sorry, but that’s a horrible horrible nickname.  Yes, I get that it’s a reference to Scarface (I hope) but that only makes it slightly more tolerable.

It doesn’t help that Glencross isn’t exactly a scorer. Is he a valuable good player? Absolutely. But it’s not like he’s a 30 goal guy, much less a 40 goal player.  My point? He doesn’t score enough to warrant it being part of a nickname.

The question now is, how do we stop this from happening?  The answer is simple: find a better nickname and use it relentlessly.

Some ideas:

1. If we’re going to pick someone inappropriate for children as a basis for a nickname, let’s be fair and pick someone inappropriate for everybody: Curtis Glennbeck.

2. The spelling of Glencross is already often shortened to GlenX, which, because there’s an X, is kinda badass. So why not go all the way with it and just call him GlenX (pronounced Glen-ex, though not spelled that way as it looks like a solution for digestive problems)?

3. Even better, Megaman GlenX. Or should it be MegaGlenX?

4. In the Al Pacino theme, how about Curtis Glengarry Glen Ross? Sure, it’s long, but it’s also awesome.

Any other thoughts or ideas? Do you think Scoreface as a nickname sucks too?

On a slightly related tangent, can we please give Niklas Hagman the nickname of J.R. Ewing?

Categories: I look like a moron
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