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Vancouver Still Sucks!

I really want to bring to light the excellent work our friend (ed: Justin is using the word “our” in the sense the Queen of Canada- you guys have a Queen, right?- uses the word “our”. It’s the royal “our”)(ed 2: Yep, still the actual leader of the country, although it’s more symbolic than anything. DomeBeers.com did a couple of days ago. It seems a fan from Vancouver, the douchebag-hipster capital of Canada, thinks that the Flames and their fans suck. Well, I would like to take another opportunity to spew hate at those assholes, and add a couple of points on to DB’s argument:

1. You have two of the most universally hated players in the game.

No one commands as much respect as Ryan Kesler (ed: screw you he’s an upstanding American hero among the likes of George Washington, Ulysses Grant, and Will Smith in Wild Wild West)(ed 2: I like most Americans. He’s still an asshole.)  and Alex Burrows do. Real class act, stand-up guys. They only play dirty, whine more than my 4-year-old sister, and fake injury on a regular basis (ed: quick correction, in 5 NHL seasons Kesler has only missed 2 games)(ed 2: he still fakes injury a ton.)

Check out this video:

The thing that pisses me off the most about them? They refuse to be accountable for their actions. They run and hide behind pylons like Rick Rypien and Darcy Hordichuk (ed: SCREW THOSE GUYS AMIRIGHT ) (ed 2: YA UR RIGHT) who collectively have less brain cells then the average embryo.

2. Your “Captain” flops and whines, and is invisible when it matters most.

First of all, he doesn’t have a “C” on his jersey, so he isn’t your captain. Secondly, the guy has the groin strength of a 9-year-old. He has never won a big game. Never. Always chokes in the playoffs. The Olympics don’t count-he wasn’t the starting goalie to begin with, and only got the job because the guy in front of him stunk up the joint. His save percentage against Germany was a sterling .910!  He’s so good he’s never been out of the second round!

3.Willie Mitchell and the Parade!

Yeah, you all know it. It’s coming this year, I promise!

4. The Canucks have never won anything.

As much as you guys like to give us crap about how we hang on to 1989, the Flames have at have that to celebrate. What exactly hangs in the rafters of Bankrupt Motors Place? Division Titles? We have those too. Western Conference Championship banners? We got 3. Retired numbers? Lanny’s moustache out-classes them all. Our mascot was the first and is better than yours. Remember the last time the Canucks had a chance to win a cup?

5. Remember the last time we met in the playoffs?

Yeah, that’s what I thought. Suck it, Vancouver! (ed: SUCK IT HARD) (ed 2: REAL HARD)

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  1. SarahM
    April 3, 2010 at 1:41 am

    My favourite part of this post is the back and forth in the editorials.

    Oh, and the part where you mock Luongo as “captain,” because that has driven me crazy since it was announced.

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