Home > I look like a moron > Well, that happened

Well, that happened

I am much too tired due to the tryptophan vessel that is turkey to write something proper about the loss to the Blackhawks, so have a laugh at my expense instead of thinking about the 3rd last nail in the coffin.

(editor’s note: In an effort to SOMEHOW relate this to the Flames, I will be trying to force this into a metaphor for…something. The playoffs? Yeah. Sure. My comments will be in red italics like this.)

Yesterday, while driving to work (this is clearly an allegory for the offseason and preseason), I decide to pull over to the local watering hole (Starbucks) (Didn’t Dion have his SUV get stolen at a Starbucks? Not relevant, just…yeah.) and order my 2nd favorite beverage (this is like signing Bouwmeester instead of Cammi). While ordering, a cute girl (OMG, right?) tells me that she also likes that drink (Much like other GMs liking J-Bow and forcing us to trade Leopold and pay an outrageous amount). Now, most of the time I am scared shitless to talk to members of the opposite sex, so in most situations like this I would give a nervous laugh and never think of it again. However, I was feeling especially brave due to the new tires I just had installed on my vehicular device (there’s 800 bucks down the drain. Thankfully, it wasn’t my money. Awesome early birthday present, if I do say so myself) (Daz spends other people’s money too!) and decided to take the drink-liking into a deeper conversation. We eventually got two stools at those weird bar things with the lights that hang about a foot from the surface, and proceeded to talk (Not the point, but I thought you were on your way to work). This conversation included many things, like the Flames flag I had on my car, my little sister (symbolizing the Abbotsford Heat), and annoying siblings (every underachieving Flames prospect ever). I did eventually have to get to work, so I figured that this girl had taken enough of an interest in me to warrant me asking if she would like to continue the converation some other time. So I told her I had to go to work, and I asked for her number (obviously a date is the playoffs.  Or is sex the playoffs? No- that’s the Cup). What happened next was rather unexpected (JUST LIKE THE TORONTO TRADE!).

She laughed at me (I feel the post-season laughing at me everyday in my heart).

I know, right? WTF? The last thing she said before leaving was that she had no interest in guys like me (sad trombone). What, you don’t want to go out with a fat kid who writes on the internet (hey, men who write on the internet are considered very sexy in some cultures. Mostly that’s because they have enough money for the Internet period. Oh right- Flames)? What is wrong with you?

Now that I think about it, asking for her number without knowing her name was probably a bad idea (much like trading for Kotalik without realizing he sucks and has been scratched a ton this year by the RANGERS FOR CHRISSAKE for good reasons).

Anyways, have a happy Easter (if you celebrate it). (I think the same problem applies to both the Flames and poor Justin: a lack of scoring. BAM. Also I know the pain.)

Categories: I look like a moron
  1. Arik
    April 5, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Oh young Justin, you have much to learn in the ways of love.

    No, no I do not have a girlfriend currently. Shut up.

    Edit: As I’m sure one of our female readers would tell you, humor is magic. Next time you’re in a situation like that, say something like “Well, I’d ask you to get a cup of coffee, but it looks like I’m too late to ask. How about dinner sometime?” Though still you might want to know her name before doing so.

  2. Justin Azevedo
    April 5, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    That last part cut me deep. Ow. Although, you were able to take a blog post that sucked and then related it to the Flames and hockey. Kudos, sir.

    I was on my way to work to begin with, but the Starbucks on Centre Street is all of 30 seconds away, so I had ample time to waste.

  1. April 8, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: