Archive for the ‘How I imagine Darryl to negotiate’ Category

Hey Darryl! Hey- Darryl! Darrrryyylll!

April 4, 2010 Leave a comment

Yeah, Darryl- screw you and your crappy trades.

Also, the playoff chase continues tomorrow against the goaltendingless Blackhawks. Be prepared to be completely dominated by their skaters but ride the percentages anyways.

Also, next week see the 4th Line Blog nominees for NW division trophy winners.


The Jokinen Trade: Insane In The Membrane

February 2, 2010 Leave a comment

So this officially happened.  And I am certainly confused.  In fact, is there a word for super confused?  Because that would be better.

Obviously, from a Flames fan point of view, this is complete crap.  Kotalik is god-awful this year.  At 3 million.  I mean, I make fun of Jokinen, but not because he’s terrible, mostly because we traded some futures away for him and he didn’t produce at the level expected of a $5.5M center.  Also he looks like a monkey.  The fact is, he wasn’t terrible on ice.  Sure, the bounces didn’t go his way, and he may not have played to his salary, but he also played the toughest QUALCOMP of regular forwards, and not counting the new guys (Stajan, Hagman) had the second highest GF/60 of Flames forwards.  Ahead of even Iggy.

My point?  The way he (and Prust) was treated was not right.  Morally and ethically wrong.  I don’t care if Ballin’ Brent and Shifty Sutter (it’s a Thing now) thought Jokinen on the ice last night would best produce a win (and it didn’t regardless), this was down right shitty of them.  The only reason I see this happening the way it did, was because something else is going down.  Not that it would make it right, just more…understandable.

Look at it this way:

Kotalik has been scratched the last 8 games by the Rangers.  Higgins just isn’t that good. Now, whether you believe we didn’t pull the trigger on the trade because Ballin’ and Shifty thought putting Jokinen and Prust on the ice last night gave us a better chance to win or because Kotalik wasn’t waiving his limited NMC, something doesn’t add up.

If it’s the former, then why make the trade at all?  If Jokinen and Prust are really better than Kotalik and Higgins, and you want to win one last game with them- why trade at all?  My thoughts- there’s a second trade coming, and Kotalik isn’t supposed to play with us at all.  Higgins…who knows.  We have tonight off, and then play on Wednesday, giving Shifty all day to make a secondary trade happen while not having to put one or both Rangers on the ice.

If it’s the latter, what caused Kotalik to change his mind? Imagine this: you are earning $3M a year, your coach hates you (and you probably hate him), the system doesn’t work for you, and they want to trade you to some redneck town in Canada from NYC that you have a NMC for.  If you go, your old team (who you probably hate, since they wouldn’t even let you play) gets a decent, if overpaid center who may help them this year.  If you stay, they have to deal with your salary for 3 years and you get to live in NYC and have big fun and rarely have to show up for work a la Michael Nylander! What do you pick? If I’m Kotalik, I take the latter.  So why would he take the former?  Someone convinced him he’d never play a game in Calgary.

So either way, something doesn’t add up.  At all.  My thoughts?  The trade winds are still a-blowin’, and they’re a-blowin’ something big into Calgary.

Still Shifty and Ballin’ should be ashamed of the way they let this occur.  Goddamn ashamed.

5 Flames Trade Targets: Not the Usual Suspects

January 26, 2010 2 comments

So if it hasn’t become clear that the Flames need more offense in the form of a trade, then you are probably a New Jersey Devils fan.  Here, I will look at the 2010 UFA’s who will likely be trade targets by Darryl Sutter.  This means guys he would actually trade for, so no, we will not see Kovalchuk on this list.  I’ve also included what Sutter’s reasoning might be behind any of these players on both why and why not.

1. LW Alexander Frolov, LA Kings

Why: He fits the Flames needs- offense.  His coach isn’t exactly a huge fan, which could put him on the trading block.

Why Not: He’s a streaky Russian forward not known for his work ethic.  That just screams Calgary player.

2. C Matt Cullen, Carolina Hurricanes

Why: He currently plays in the SE Division, he’s never broken 50 points in a season except when he played in the Italian league, and he’s a center.

Why Not: He’s not from Western Canada and he’s won a Stanley Cup already.  Hell, he’s even made the post-season.  Why would we want that?

3. RW Colby Armstrong, Atlanta Thrashers

Why: Hard working gritty player who can maybe  reach up to the second line?  Sounds like a Daz guy to me.  And bonus points since he’s related to someone in the organization!

Why Not: Wait- we haven’t traded for him yet?  Oh right- we’re waiting for his stock to go up.

4. D Jordan Leopold, Florida Panthers

Why: Former Flame?  Yep.  Defenseman?  Can’t have too many.  Just trade him away (sort of)?  Yep.

Why not: He’d only remind Sutter that he traded Ryan Wilson, who’s been killing the Flames this year, to a conference rival.  And Sutter does not remember errors.

5. C Olli Jokinen, Calgary Flames

I’m not going to list the Sutter why’s and why nots behind this, nobody will ever really know.  Here’s what I see happening. 

Darryl Sutter picks up the phone and dials Brian Burke.

Sutter: Hey Brian, how’s it going?  How’s the family?  Blah blah, yeah yeah, look.  Let’s get down to business.  I need a draft pick- I hear you like trading them.

Burke: To be honest Darryl, the pick cupboard is looking pretty bare, it’d have to be a hell of a trade.

Sutter: Well, I see you have that Kessel kid, how would you like to give him a- wait for it- number one center?!

Burke: (Sighs) No Darryl, I do not want Olli Jokinen.  He’s overpaid and isn’t even a set-up man.

Sutter: But he’s truculent!  I swear!

Burke: Really?  My favorite website ever, I mean the resources of, tell me he’s been in less than 30 fights in ten years, and the last fight was against Francois Beauchemin, and I’ll be the first to admit losing to him is hilarious. 

Sutter: No, no.  He just needs to be in the right enviroment.  A truculent environment, like you foster.

Burke (blushing and apparently forgetting that Calgary leads the league in fights): You’re too kind Darryl.  Still, I dunno…

Sutter: Let me send you a video of Jokinen as proof.

Burke: Well, it’s hard to tell since the video is a bit old, but that does look like him.  Okay, how about a 2nd for Jokinen?

Sutter: Deal!  I’ll fax the paperwork over.

The Next Day

Sutter: Oh what  a beautiful morning, let’s look at rosters and see who I can trade for.  WHAT?  Jokinen’s a UFA this year?  We need a number 1 center!  And we have the cap space!

Sutter frantically dials Burke

Burke: Hello again Darryl, what’s up today?


Burke (who is very amused): Well he won’t come cheap.  How about your 2011 first rounder and, say, Backlund?


Burke: Sounds good, pleasure doing business with you as usual Darryl.


And that is how I picture the Flames trade deadline happening.  Sadly.